Recap of 2009

Well 2009 was a special year for me.
Knew a girl in 2008 and i had a relationship with her on 070109.
Won't forget about it haha...because she's consider my first love!lols!!
Had sweet loving times in the beginning just like any other couples.
I had probation in the beginning when i'm with her but after a few months my probation ended and of cause i'm very very happy about it!haha
Had my greatest life in my 19years and i felt that was my most happiest life i ever had in my 19years haha..
After 6months with her i enlisted into army.
Well that was when my relationship went rocky.
Having a relationship in ns is really hard..cause 1 of the main pointer is because of not having enough time for each other..and its really sudden in a way..as we cant contact with each other much.
after a few months had pass in army i thought that we started to get used to it..but as time went by..i found out that i was wrong..i begin to see much more things..but i choose to deny what i know..
she..from once a girl that cared for me before i enlisted..does not anymore..
she..who once that will help me when i'm down..does not anymore...
and from time after time i begin to realize how much she dont wanna let anybody thats near to her to know about me...and fk..that feeling really sucks..i didd even do anything wrong she say shes afraid of letting them knowing..how i felt?sad of cause..but i just told myself that maybe she really was so scared ba..but thinking through it..if a girl really like you,how would be she be so afraid of letting people know about the rs?!even in fb or blog cant even have me in it!thats pretty obvious in a way..i just kept myself in silents..always giving me excuses saying she's busy cant meet up..even though i tried to make all my time for her..but she just dont give a dame much about it.
What i done wrong?
lols...
By saying that i'm irritating all those...
If you could just tell me.
Hey lets break,i cant take this anymore,no more..no more feelings on you anymore..
or something like that would make me feel better.
BUT!
She chose to sms saying 'since we so buai gum lets break up.'
Just because of something very small.
WTF?!
Worst of all she choose to tell me on the new year eve!
I'll nvr forget her..really is one pcb..knn
she..who told me i'm at fault..
saying that my personalities is not good.
Than for fk she went thought almost a year with me?
Why didd she even reflect herself too?
dame..
saying that i always wanted to win.
really??
lols..
how about her?
she didd even really think about it.
who's the one that really gives way most of the time?
lol...don make me laugh by saying that shes the one.
nvr even hear out from me and start to assume that its like tat.
guess thats what called as the black kettle calling back or something like that ba..
She..
who made me felt that she was
my everything.
my world.
my only one.
was all gone.
it has turn into hatred.
There was so many things that could had went better,but she wanted it to be like that.
A girl so heartless towards me.
A girl which let me so scared of.
A girl which let me feel afraid.
A girl that turns my view.

Dont thing just because i did'd say anything means i donno whats going around.

Well at least i know what is love,and what is hate after love.
lol..i learn alot stuff from all this
gees..
life always changing.

I will be me.
The one that nobody really will understand.
no one..no one will really know who i really am.

There's secret in my heart that will nvr be expose.
what i went though..not alot had went past it..

with the darkest.

The Game Begin.